And I the Words

From night’s repose
I steal awake
To words unspoken
Simply read.
Questions, answers.
Life ever circling,
With eyes shut
And prayer’s unsaid.
At morning’s whisper,
I rise and find
The author
Is present
And I the words.

This season of life has been so full of life. To simplify it down to just one emotion, would be unfair to the others. But Lent, I think, needs to be a season of emotion. To contemplate the sorrow, the pain, the joy without embracing those same identities within myself, well, it feels hypocritical.

Many days, it appears as though God is so far away. But one evening as I was reading my devotion, I was introduced to the Examen. It is a reflective prayer style where one looks back on the day and looks for where they experienced the presence of Jesus. This has been a life changing way I look at my own spirituality as it is so easy to look only at right now and exclaim, “God! Where are you?” And while that is completely acceptable, if I but take the time to look… he is here. And he was there.

The next morning as we rushed to church, late as usual, I was holding one child on my hip as the other walked ahead of me and it was completely silent. Not just my children, which is a miracle in and of itself, but the wind, the birds, the leafless trees, the neighborhood dogs. All quiet. And in that moment, I simply said, “You are here, aren’t you?”

About Katie Faul

My name is Katie Faul and I am a 33 year old woman who lives, breathes, and eats. I love my children, my husband, my home. I hobby it up with gardening, napping, knitting, and Netflix. I am on a journey called life and I am not sure what that even means.

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