Hi, uh. My name is Katie and I am a recovering Evangelical Christian.

And this is the part where you say, “Hi Katie.”

For several years, gosh easily 11-12 years, I have grown more and more exhausted spiritually. And the more tired I became, the more I began to see that what looked like simple cracks in my theology were actually chasms to the faith I was trying desperately to nurture. I was becoming critical to every word I heard a Christian speak especially when in church. I was trying to come up with answers to the world problems and it was like grasping sand as it sifted through my fingers. It came to the point where I quit going to church for close to two years.

Then I started attending a more traditional church. Not even because it was a certain denomination, but simply because it was a block away from my house. One block. Uno. Walking distance was the only qualification. Now, the little village I live in only has one church, so I didn’t have a lot to chose from. But at that point, it honestly would not have mattered.

Now, fast forward three years later and I have realized something very irritating: Even though I have left the evangelical church, my mentality still went/goes back to the theology I had been taught… trained in. And I really don’t like it. That isn’t to say that I don’t appreciate certain aspects of my spiritual history, because I do! But there is a lot that was/is unhealthy. I have begun comparing it to an addicts need for one more drink, hit, etc, as I can not get away from it. The mental pathways are firmly established even though I see many of the fault lines in their reaction to reality.

So I am attempting to be very deliberate and strategic with the next twelve months as steps toward recovering my faith. I am taking the 12 step program, used by so many, and applying it to my life. And I do not do so lightly! If there is no other benefit, it has already begun to birth so much more compassion for those with addictions of every variety! But even in this first step, I have begun to see things a little differently; this in turn gives me hope that this one year will continue on in a life long transformation.

So, hi. My name is Katie and I am a recovering Evangelical addict.